Leesa

North Carolina, USA

We had very strong traditions when I was growing up.  We would always have Christmas Eve open house at my parents’ house and all our friends and family would come there. Then Christmas morning we would have a huge breakfast with all of my family…my cousins, aunts, uncles.  It was just a given.  We knew that the breakfast was the kick off to the day. That meal was the precipitating factor where everybody came together.

Sometimes we would have 35 people for breakfast on Christmas morning. We would have the traditional Southern breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, sausage, sausage…three types of sausage, country ham, grits, red eye gravy, biscuits.  I have strong visions of my dad and my aunt standing in the kitchen making pan after pan of biscuits, homemade Southern biscuits.  They would argue over who made the best. It was a pride thing.  And even within that tradition, there were small traditions about arguing over how long the biscuits should cook. They made them differently and as often as I watched them, I could never duplicate what they did.  Then we would go down to my aunt’s house in the afternoon and have a late dinner.  That was a very strong tradition growing up. Those are very strong memories.

But it has changed dramatically over the years as people died.  And this year, we are starting a brand new tradition.  Some of the thought processes started with me when my dad died. We tried to keep the traditions going and the groups would get smaller and smaller each year.  This  past summer my aunt next door passed away.  That was really hard for the family because she was always tied into these rituals and traditions.  Then just this past week my cousin who I grew up with, died.  So that too, is yet another piece of it broken off.  And as my mother is aging, it’s harder and harder for her to keep up.  

So I started thinking about all of this and I was like, you know, it’s kind of gotten to the point where it’s a little sad to hang on to those memories and they’re wonderful memories. Never forget them, but things have changed so dramatically that maybe this is the year we need to do something different.  So I broached the subject to my mother.  I start with the matriarch…through an email actually because I kind of anticipated what her reaction would be. And I was right.  She emailed me back and said, “Well, I had my good cry but I know you’re right.” What I had proposed to her was to come to my house for Christmas this year and then next year we would go to my brother’s.  So we would alternate the years and that way they wouldn’t feel left out nor does one person shoulder all the responsibility.  She is definitely warming up to the idea.  And I said, “We’ll have an open house Christmas Eve carrying forth that part of the tradition.  You can still do your cooking; as much or as little as you want.  You’re under no obligation.  I can just as soon go down to Harris Teeter’s[1]and get a deli tray if I have to.” 

She’s already started emailing me, “What’s the menu?  What do I need to do?”  She wants to be centered around the food because we can take little pieces of the old tradition and weave it into the new. I said, “Morgan [Leesa’s daughter] you know, she has to have your homemade cranberry salad.  Just hasto have it.”  Yesterday I told my brother, “You’re bringing the sweet potato pies” and to my sister-in-law, “you’re bringing the cookies.  I’ll do the rest. ”  

That’s the new tradition and it’s very interesting because I have never had a Christmas in my own home. It’s always been at my parents’ home. Which is fine, but, it’s just kind of mind-boggling a little.  I don’t know exactly how I’m going to handle this, but we’ll just kind of feel our way. And my daughter is very excited. She’s like, “Oh I can actually see my friends on Christmas Day.”

It’s funny. Yesterday, in the car driving to my cousin’s funeral in Fayetteville, my mom said, “The menu looks great, but you forgot the Christmas punch.”  She makes this really delicious red, bright red, Christmas punch.  I said, “Mom I don’t really know about having Christmas punch.”  She was like, “You haveto have it!”  I said, “My house is four months old and I don’t know that I really want red Christmas punch…in the hands of these people, you know.”  And she said, “Well, I had it in my house all those years.”  And I said, “Yeah, and look at your carpet.”

So we had a little laugh about it, but…you know even that was in her mind -- you have to have the red Christmas punch.  And I was like…I’m just getting a cooler full of soft drinks and I’ll have coffee and…we’ll make Russian tea.

It’s really just what some people call spice tea.  But it’s just…it’s aromatic.  It’s soothing.  You know, it’s the smell…it just elicits all kinds of memories.  And then it’s good for you, too.  

Put all the ingredients in a big pot on the stove.  Add enough sugar to sweeten to desired taste. Add enough whole cloves to desired taste. Bring to a simmer, but nevera boil.  

[1]Harris Teeter’s is a grocery store chain serving mid-Atlantic and southeastern states. 

[2]Presweetened ice tea or strong tea with added sugar. (“You could use Bojangles or something if you had to. And I make it with decaf too for people who may not want to have caffeine.”)